Why I think We Need Vaudville Again

 Lilly Loca's Vaudeville Cabaret

This is a supplemental to my last entry on open mic nights, more of what I’d like to see in the way of these modern day variety shows. I really want to see the return of Vaudeville and the sheppard’s crook! For those of you who don’t know, a sheppard’s crook was used to drag especially bad performers or performers who were on a bit too long off the stage, sometimes followed by a clown with a broom sweeping up the stage, to much comedic effect. Mostly, it would have to be used during paid performances, as a free for all may not be the best time to do it, but heck, why not? 

I know, that sounds cruel, but think about it for a minute. How many performers have you wanted to tell and act that they are simply no good? When a performer stinks like a three day old fish, give em the hook! When the act is an utter flop, you can let them know and relive the paying audience with a small bit of comedy. Trust me, people would love it.

Also, it would let the act know, in no uncertain terms, that they need to work on their act, or consider a job in the roofing business. Yes, sometimes tough love is the best love and besides, everyone involved from the performer to the audience would have full knowledge of the possibility of someone dropping the curtain on you so while your ego may be bruised, there’d be no excuse for sour grapes. The performer will either, hone his chops, or quit the business.

Either way, for the audience it’s a win-win because if the act has heart, he will go back home practice and become a better performer. If the latter, well, his or her skin is simply too thin for this business in the first place and perhaps will find a more rewarding career. Or, the possibility exists that the performer will make a habit of returning over and over again, in different personas, continuously getting the hook, ala ‘I love Lucy’. Again, audiences will love it!

Let’s face it, we all have wished this device was in use at one time or another, and I for one, think it would bring a neat addition to a scene in need of something fresh. Well, it would be retro, which after a while is fresh again. Besides, people love retro and we are seeing the return of 20s fashion, and music, to some degree, so what not go all in?

Let’s bring back all of the old hokum of the old burlesque and vaudevillian acts, the high hats and hoofers, let’s bring it all on. The one acts, the comedy duos, burlesque dancers, the freak acts (you know fire eaters, self-maimers, sword swallowers and the like). In short; I want to see a return of the vaudeville style performances and now!  I’m not saying I have anything against open mics as they are, open mics are fine, but they can be incorporated in these vaudeville shows with the professional amateur night.

How cool would it be to go to a show and you have no idea what you were going to see, but you know the acts were heavily vetted and organized according to talent, and performance values. There would be the opening act, probably 'From Dixie', or good enough for the rubes, the the second banana ( second best comedian) would perform a skit, or a monologue a musical act, then a skit, freaks, then the Top Banana, ( best comedian ), he would have his assistant, (Third Banana). then the show stopper.and the last act would be 'playing to the haircuts' ( playing as the patrons leave). Each night the order would be shuffled, all hosted by the emcee. It would be a huge production.

In fact, the entire draw would be the production itself, not necessarily the performers, although quality acts are a must to pull it off. I know, the production costs may be prohibitive, and it would take a lot of work, plus, you would have to find the right venue, but if anyone has ever heard of PrairieHome Companion, you know it could work, with the right people involved.In fact, we see popping up here and there some revivals, like Lilly Loca's Vaudeville Cabaret( pictured above), and Star Wars Cabaret.

It’s one thing to watch it on the tele or YouTube, but too see someone perform live is something else altogether! I used to see some of my friends belly dance on the beach and it was amazing, they had fire and everything! It was so cool. You can’t get that experience from the screen. There is an intimacy to live art that we have lost and what a shame it is.

And now, here's Gene Sheldon.