Primus at Club Nokia ( 2010 Rock N Roll Industries Magazine Archives )

Ok, I'll admit it. I have a gnarly hangover form my awesome night at Hollywood Studios Bar & Grill. So instead of hurting my brain writing about last night, I'm going to recover. So, i've decided to revive this gem of a review that was never published. I wrote it for Rock N Roll Industries Magazine back in '10 but it got lost in the deluge of articles and sadly, it was overlooked. I think that is a crime against humanity so here it is, for your pleasure, in two parts- ( its kind of lengthy, but its worth it, trust me.)

Mon Sep 17, 2010: PreShow Antics

Friday night, the 90's eclectic rock band, Primus, played at the Club Nokia in Los Angeles and i have to say it was a magical night. I arrived with 30 bucks in my pocket,  finding myself on hard times and hoping to scalp a ticket on the cheap and to my delight, we ran into four guys, who had just won ticket upgrades and they were willing to sell their old ones. One of them, we'll call him 'Larry', was wearing an old Rush concert t-shirt ( a sign of a fellow cool head ) so we figured they would give them up or sell them for a low price. 

Not so, they wanted $40 per ticket! These schmucks bought em for nearly that much! Didn't they know that resale value is rarely, if ever, the original price? We mentioned the fact that the box office had them for $42 and that we thought it was a sour deal so we offered 60 for two. No dice. There were three of us, and my friend had just bought one off the same guys for $22, although i think they gave him a wheelchair discount, that lucky bastard. 

My buddy Steve then jokingly retorts, "Look man, i live in a basement and need money for weed so can you help a bum out?"  Larry was not amused.

We all laughed as they walked into the bar where, by the way, the beers were $9 a piece. It was pretty steep for a man on a $30 budget and a scalped ticket to buy if you ask me.  Still, they had the look of money to them.

We made our way through the carnival-esque crowd looking for some kinder souls. Gave it a half hour, exhausted our resources and were back to our original spot by the sports bar. One of those previous ticket meisters came strolling out for the next round of negotiations, obviously they wanted to drink more and pad their wallets a bit with our hard earned cash and still, the offer was 80 bucks for two. Apparently these folks failed to grasp the concept of haggling so we offered them $50. It was 10 bucks lower than our previous offer, just to give him an idea of what the term barter really means. 

“Hey, if it was up to me, I’d sell em to ya, but I’m just the negotiator" Larry said. 

Unaware of what their strategy was, or their instructions to him, i can only assume that these friends of his clearly missed the point of this exercise so again, we waved him away with the sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs. Dejected, we decided to grab a bite to eat at the nearby Rockin' Fish. Big Mistake. $50 a plate for a lousy steak? Forget it. On to the appetizers. $15 for potato wedges?! Wearing only a small amount of shame, we made our way outside. 

Things were not looking so good at this point. So once again we find ourselves at the point of desperation as once again Larry The Negotiator makes his way to our spot. We figure the concert is soon to start and being that we were the only ones in the market for their clearly overpriced tickets; they would drop their price to our previous offer of thirty bucks a piece so that we might get in to the show. Just as he arrives, big, curly haired individual buts in, sticks his head out and says in a low but bold voice: "Primus Tickets!"

"How much?" says I. "Twenty a piece" says he. Now this guy is speaking our language.

Clearly here's a fellow who understands the finer points of supply and demand. We furiously jam our hands into our pockets, pull out our twenty dollar bills and make the exchange in front of our would be ticket merchant.

 At this point Larry's face instantly goes from gleeful profiteer to complete and utter rejection as we conclude the transaction for at least ten bucks less than he and his money grubbing cohorts planned on making off of us. It was a priceless moment. His face looked just like Wile E. Coyote as he plummets off the cliff, yet again, for the hundredth time proving once more that yes, the universe has its own perfect sense of comedic timing.

Epilogue: 

We get in the Club Nokia (which is really mini amphitheater) and who do we see at the bar but our favorite negotiator, Larry and his friends! 

"Hey, you guys made it" he says.

"Yea," we said, "We had to hurry because we had to stuff ourselves with chicken strips and beer before the show. Seems we had a little extra cash on us" We laughed and laughed as we strolled away from their scowls and enjoyed the concert. To be continued...

Next......Part Two: Set One