Max's Musician's Bitch

Every Now and then, our local beloved drummer, session man and jazz purist Max Cheney takes issue with the musicians he shares the stage with, those he doesn't not, basically any musicians or industry professional he considers to be inflicting undue suffering on the rest of us. God help me, but he's right on the money. Now you can benefit from his crotchety old wisdom. Enjoy as he rails against the wrongs that  'musicians' and promoters inflict on us and please feel free leave your comments below and tell him what a jerk he is.


Max's Bitch for the Day: by Max Cheney

players who say they wanna be in a band, but don't wanna do the work.

Hey, I hate rehearsals, and for most pop music that gigs require, few rehearsals are necessary, especially for the 'guitar trio' (omg, please not ANOTHER one!).

You have to work out beginning s, endings and song forms at even the 'cave man level' of the R&R or blues guitar band. As the music genre advances, even the 'stars' have rehearsal weeks before going on the road. Sheesh. I've heard many good players blow off rehearsals only to really suck at the gig. Except for their solos, of course which is all they're interested in anyway. hell with the band..

Often there are really very good players but they only wanna self-indulge. They sit back, inert, waiting for their 'shine' time, overblow, then sit back down into oblivion. This happens a lot with guitarists, but too often when they sit down' they (GRRRR) STRUM through the rhythm which makes the tune sound like a muddy mess.

Horn players can be guilty of this, in that they don't wanna be bothered by the pedestrian act of harmonizing with another horn for the head. Reading a head is just too much trouble for them, or it is beneath them. Too bad, LOTS of great content goes unperformed because of this prejudice. And when pressed to do a head, omg they fu** it up BAD...

OK, now my REAL bitch: great players whose personal lives or personal character is a shambles.

If someone can't have their life together to the point where they make gigs and help build business, a lesser-talented person who has things nailed down is the better bet.

The singer who drags in at 9:45 for a 9:00 gig, or the drummer that forgot his rug, or the player who was supposed to learn a tune, then shows up at the gig expecting to learn it OJT. bullish**... these players have absolutely no regard for the guy who BOOKED the gig since when things turn to sh** on the stage, guess who the venue manager or owner is going to hold accountable, or lose faith in? He isn't gonna remember the asshole guitar player or the goofball drummer, it will be the guy who he cut the deal with!!!

Finally, the guy who calls you at 7:00, 50 miles away for a 9:00 gig, saying, "Uh, man, I need a ride"... bullish** Music is a BUSINESS man, and if a cat's personal life is such that he/she cannot keep it together how in the hell can they be relied on to build business?

I always make a point of refusing rides unless a) it's very unusual for that person and b) it's on my way.

I won't even go into the guy who books a gig declaring $75 per, then informs everyone that night after last call that it's really only $15 per. There ARE a lot of these guys.