Chef Spiro's Ear for Flavor!

A Diet for a New Tympanic Membrane

by Spiro Nicolopoulos

Some tastes are acquired over time. Others are intuitive. Some are just plain confusing. Often times I get synesthesia and I can literally taste what I hear. Just the other day I was watching a music awards show and I was assaulted by the flavor of McDonald's...through my eardrums. Yes, I remember being five years old when the flavor of a McD's cheeseburger or chicken McNugs were to die for. Over time, the sophistication of my sense of taste disarmed the Mcflavors all....like a cheap magician's trick they were exposed to their common flavor denominator - cardboard.

 The 2012 American Music Awards had the flavor for McBieber fever. They gave Justin Bieber the "Artist of the year" award, among other awards. When listening to Bieber, the flavor I get through my ears tastes just like McDonald's! I began to question why........Here's my answer: The present music industry tastes are based on the musical appetites of children. It's true. The vast majority of album sales comes from music geared to kids 14 and younger. It's a ""follow the money" industry par none.

 The pop world menu of artists is serving billions and billions each year. Here is how the pop world tastes to my ear:

• Bieber is the Big Mac.
• Katy Perry is the Quarter Pounder.
• One Direction is your 5peice chicken McNuggets.
•  Beyonce is the McChicken sandwich.
• Taylor Swift....well, she's the Filet O' Fish.

 Would you like fries with that? Great! There's plenty of Lil 'Wayne and Ke$ha to go around. Boy does Ke$ha get around! Don't get me wrong....I like junk food once in a while too. How about those sugary sweet lyrics? Yeah, those taste like a concentrated super-sized Mountain Dew drink. 

Here's the deal....if I keep getting audio McDonald's I will quickly develop audio high cholesterol, audio obesity, and eventually an audio coronary. Then my ears will need an audio double bypass. The music Dr. will inevitably order me to go on an audio diet to enhance my audio health again.

 Back to unprocessed natural sounds. Homegrown mixes of instruments are the best. Cut out the excess audio fat, salt, and sugar. Back to the un-auto tuned human voice. Now how about some substance in those lyrics....yes, give me the essential nutrients right there. Most music lovers are already on a diet of naturally great musical food. There's digitally great musical food too - don't get me wrong, I've danced til' dawn to the best international DJs. 

 I'm not anti-pop music at all. There has been great pop music.....just not so much lately. What bugs me is that the music awards think Bieber is the best of what's out there in terms of being an "artist." Give me a flippin' break. Who is voting for these awards shows? Is it a text in vote from Nick Jr viewers? SERIOUSLY.....what panel of adult voters voted Bieber as the best artist that American music has to offer? It's similar to having a panel of food critics vote the Big Mac as culinary item of the year.

  We don't get so upset about bad music being shoved down our throats as we do bad food. It's ok to criticize crappy photography or cuisine or perfumes or clothing.....but why not music? So many people are starting to jump on the band wagon that "music is too subjective to criticize." Who started that crappy line of logic? Probably label executives. It makes it a lot easier for them to give you a musical crap sandwich and watch the masses eat it and smile. Ke$ha? How about Katy Perry? How about Bieber? Lil' Wayne? Crap Crap Crap and more Crap....and all with capital C's. 

 May be if people had the guts to publicly hate some things other than political views then the public wouldn't be forced to tolerate having music dominated by what 14yr old kids think is cool. Remember how the rock artists of the early 1990s subverted the music industry and just criticized the hell out of pop music and made people re-think what "being cool" was worth? "Being cool" is only worth a damn when it's subversive and rebellious and gives the finger to the status quo. As soon as Wal-Mart is selling "the look of what's cool" it's over!

 At one time Satchmo was pop. Duke Ellington was pop. The Beatles were pop. Elvis was pop. Nirvana became pop! They were all dangerous too. Pot smoking, gong kicking, double entendre pelvis thrusting, sexually charged, politically subversive dangerous artists. Legends. They pushed the human equation forward a step. What do we have now that is anywhere near that? Lady Gaga perhaps?

 I'm not a fan of her music but at least she waves the flag of accepting any kind of sexual preference right in your Bible belt face. God bless her. She's dangerous and has the power to change culture at least. Music is her vehicle. I'm down for her being on the pop music map.

 Don't get me wrong and say "OK so if you don't smoke pot or whatever then you don't deserve to be successful in the music industry?" No, of course I'm not saying that. But let's leave the kids music in the Jr. section of the musical pop consciousness and let's start treating music with the same respect that we treat our cuisine. The Food Network is like a culinary version of early 1990s MTV. It's in your face about being CRITICAL about art! It's raising public awareness to what good cuisine is about. It is encouraging people to be daring about food without forgetting what it's all about....taste. There is nothing like that in the music world anymore.

At least we have the internet where we can download any great artist.....but I'm afraid most emerging artists are doomed to regional attention and to obscurity on the bigger playing field. I guess there is a good side to it: I did get to see Victor Wooten, Chic Corea, Frank Gambale, and Dave Weckl all on one stage at a 200 person capacity club. But it's also kind of sad to think that four of the world's greatest jazz artists are playing together at a 200 person capacity club. 

Anyways, I'm trying to live my life on the side of the Muse....on the side of artistry. I have alienated my "fan - friends" and musical partners time and time again to move forward ever onward. I'm not living in the past. I hate it when I hear "I miss Rolling Reunion." Too bad. I used to hear my old fans tell me "I miss your music from your solo album" when I started Rolling Reunion. I told them "too bad" as well. It's always been about the music for me. That's why I wrote 90% of the music in all of my old bands. 

I grow and I also come back to my roots, which brings me to The Paper Crowns. The Paper Crowns is essentially my fiancée Nicole and I. You can't get more real than that. The Paper Crowns album "See You Tonight" is the best album of my life so far. We wrote every lyric. We played every instrument (except for drums on 5 tracks). We recorded every note at home. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have the friends and family who have supported this album. I can't tell you how excited and thrilled and overjoyed it makes me when new fans have taken the time to let us know how much they love our album.

 To all of you who have the album, I love you and thank you so much from my heart! Thank you. Thank you. Buy one because it's that good and you will love it more if you know you supported two homegrown artists making a homegrown album. LISTEN TO THE LYRICS. Then let the tasty vocal harmonies and guitar solos move your body and soul. If you don't purchase from us that's fine...at least go and support some local artist. Do them a favor. Do us a favor. Do yourself a favor...support the arts! But please, stay away from the audio dollar McMenu!